WHAT a week (Part 2: The Great Escape)

My tale continues….

Hospital

Upon arrival back into the fair city of Guangzhou, elated at having seen our friends, we were struck forcefully by the utterly rubbish living space we were returning to. The week progressed, we turned up for our office hours in the dungeon (no windows and had rats- believe it) and I taught my first middle school class (see part 1). However, I was becoming increasingly aware of small pin-prick looking marks appearing in groups on my arms and feet. Unfortunately they swelled up until it became apparent that I was dealing with a severe case of bedbugs. Ugh. After much exclamation and my protestations that simply changing the sheets on my bed would not solve the problem, I was given a new room.

Next door.

That night I was quite simply eaten alive.

These are my feet following treatment- the rest of me was a little gross, but you get the picture!

Upon frightening the children at class the next day with the state of my arms and face I was taken to hospital by two of my lovely co-teachers.

About Chinese hospitals: they are HUGE. The one I was taken to was a university training hospital, but there was another around the corner from the office that was the speciality eye hospital for the entire province. Essentially, on the walk to work, it appeared that everyone on the street was auditioning for a place on Bluebeards next piratical venture. Eyepatches all round. But I digress, back to MY hospital. In order to be seen by a doctor you need to first purchase a ticket (like at a deli), by filling in all kinds of forms on Chinese and having your blood pressure taken. Thank the lord for my two lovely escorts. It was a little weird to be taking pictures inside a hospital, but I must share with you the nurses uniforms.

Pictured: Forgive me, I found this one on the internet. However, look at her hat! Seriously old school, and gave them a delightful air of authority.

Upon having my blood pressure and heart rate recorded in my medical file (that’s right- I now have a medical  file in Chinese) I was led up a maze of austere stairs and corridors, past patients with beds in the hallway (it is cheaper not to have a room!) and finally to a small, tucked away office. The three Chinese doctors on the inside were wonderfully friendly and professional- we did have to google-translate the word 'anti-histamine' but the message got through in the end!

Onward again through the maze to pay for my medicine, and then off again to find it! Medicine is distributed from a small window much like at a bank and there is a surprisingly large amount of it!

Pictured: not bad for £4.10!

The last adventure before we left was finding the lady with the needle to give me my anti-bed bug itch shot (poorly translated, but you understand). I was a little perturbed when I sat on the bed behind the screen and the nurse (complete with hat) began patting my hip. I scootched along the bed, but the shaking of her head revealed that we were having a lost in translation moment. It was only when she mimed standing up and pulling trousers down did I realise I was in for a treat. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the best place for a three inch needle is your derrière. Deep and abiding joy.

In the end the whole situation ended up being a bit of a giggle as my co-workers were lending me support from the other side of the curtain. When I exited I gave the next customer (a 16 year old young man) the thumbs up and a 'Don't worry, its not to bad!', he flashed me a winning smile and reassured me 'Thanks, I'll be okay'. Cross cultural commiseration at its best :)

Summation of events: allergic reaction to 100+ bed bug bites, free tour of a chinese hospital complete with realistic injection experience, large amount of drugs and a pat on the head. All in one night. A lucky girl indeed.

Extraction!

Following strict instruction that I was not to return to my place of work, I packed all of my belongings into vacuum sealed bin liners and fled the scene of the crime. Checking into a hotel in the city centre I scouted out a dry cleaners and with the help of the world-wide-web of friends and family, managed to get the translation for 'Please oh please dry everything until the buggers are dead' (thanks Model- you're a star!).

Pictured: Utterly everything de-loused

A day later the good Sophie joined me at my place of refuge and repeated the process.

Pictured: Seriously, we are experts at this now.

We anxiously awaited news of our fate for a couple of days…..

Pictured: So very anxious, can't you see the worry lines on my face?

Pictured: We went to the Zoo, people took pictures of us instead of the animals. ( I do wonder why)

Until the news finally came: we were heading down to Xiaolan to join some fellow interns working for a local language school! Apartment etc. would be included. We were literally over the moon!

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BUT! The drama wasn't over yet! At 10pm on our final night, whilst finishing packing I received a phone call from the office manager to ask whether or not I was feeling well enough to teach the next morning! Clearly there were some lines of communication missing as the education company we were working for had forgotten to mention to the teachers that I would not, in fact, be available to teach six middle school classes the next day. Oops.

Half an hour later (10:30pm)  the CEO of the company and the head of the language department turned up outside our hotel to apologise for our treatment!

They brought us each a box of these:

Pictured: Well, if you insist!

And proceeded to try and convince us to stay! As we backed away towards the elevators, assurances of guest beds at the CEO's own home and private doctors flew thick and fast. We escaped with the knowledge that we now completely understood the chinese concept of 'loosing face', and that we were still, very assuredly, leaving the next morning.

The adventure continues ……