Welcome to Xiaolan Captain, you will be teaching......

A few fun facts about my first week in Xiaolan:

• I work for the Bond Educational Group- some of the first words their representative spoke to Sophie and myself were 'We will look after you here'. Things clearly looking up.
• Moved into our new apartment. Over the moon to have  space to call our own. (see my last post for the video)
• Threw a St. Patricks Day/house warming do. I got a little excited and pinned hand-cut shamrocks everywhere to decorate. Things got festive! 

• My guests got a hold of some electrical tape I had lying around and continued my decorating spree for me. I like to think it adds character to the place.

• I am now essentially friends with all of the taxi drivers. I live across from the central shopping centre in Xiaolan, so every time I walked out with shopping they would all gesture for me to hop in their car to speed home. However, as my apartment block is literally across the road from the shopping centre, I would just point, shrug and non-verbally communicate "Dude, I live, like, just there!'. Now, when one of them starts attempting to beguile me into his cab, his mates elbow him in the ribs, point, and say (I  assume) 'Dude, she lives, like, just there!'
• Some fellow interns bought a turtle. I should really say 'liberated' a turtle as he was technically bound for soup. Additionally, he is technically a she. But they didn't technically find this out about Glen until they googled 'How to tell a turtles gender'. Oops. Anyway, I want one.

• I bought a bicycle. His name is Winston, he is Caroline's (my road bike in the UK) betrothed and my pride and joy. Our time together will be magical.
• I was involved in an English 'corner' in a local park. About 400 people came and I think every single one of them must have taken my picture!

• Being a foreign teacher is a bit like being a local celebrity here. I went to go get lunch at a local noodle place and took a picture with every single member of staff in the whole joint, including what looked like the owners Grandmother. Sound!
• I finally have Mandrin classes! Yay! Was able to order 'Chow Mein with two eggs' in a grammatically correct manner. Boom.
• I already have a local- it is a square in the centre of town with a ton of open air cooking stations. And they sell beer. Perfect.

• Mmmmm. Delicious
• I have been assigned to work exclusively in Kindergardens.

I needed to leave a few lines for that to sink in.

And maybe a few more.

Straight in at the deep end! I work in four different Kindergardens, one of which is a good 45 minute drive away and was my first class. Not only was this my first ever Kindergarden class, it was also a demo class so that the school could decide whether or not to buy more classes from Bond! No pressure!

In any case, it went rather well (they have signed on to have more classes) and they filmed the whole thing! Teaching that class has made me realise that absolute starters entail nothing but mimicry. Holding up a blue balloon and saying 'It's blue', is actually too complicated- chanting 'Blue, blue blue!' is the correct way to go about it. That or making up a song.

In fact, here is a sample of next weeks class!

You will now hear it in your dreams.

Teaching at this level is certainly going to be very different to what I have prepared for, but while it comes with its own challenges, it certainly comes with rewards! Hilarously, the game that has gone down the best this week has been a form of child Bop-it: the kid raises their hand and says the correct vocab word = I bop them on the head with a balloon. Radical. They were screaming 'Let me try!' for the next 5 minutes!

A few other fun facts regarding Kindergarden for the week

• Naps, every classroom has a specific area for the children to have their midday sleep in. I'm not going to lie and say that I am not jealous.

• One of the classes that I taught was essentially an after school english club. Translates as 'babysitting children who don't speak your language'. Was rather fun, I think they learned all four primary colours.

At least these ones did, the ones running around in the background were kind of a lost cause from the start.

• Chinese 5-6 year olds really struggle to say 'Kathryn', have now been christened 'Captain' in more that one class. I'm cool with that.
• I will never get sick of the expression on chinese kids faces when I pull my gigantic union flag out of my bag. That’s right, I'm British. You are cool by proxy.
• I will know a song for just about everything you can think of by the time I am done with this internship.
• Also, I wish to teach my children a song by the time I have finished. Suggest things to me :)

I will now go read 'War and Peace ' to rejuvenate my brain cells. Thank you and goodnight!

Placement 2.0

My name is Kathryn, welcome to my crib :)

Apologies if you end up a little sea-sick from my camera work!

WHAT a week (Part 2: The Great Escape)

My tale continues….

Hospital

Upon arrival back into the fair city of Guangzhou, elated at having seen our friends, we were struck forcefully by the utterly rubbish living space we were returning to. The week progressed, we turned up for our office hours in the dungeon (no windows and had rats- believe it) and I taught my first middle school class (see part 1). However, I was becoming increasingly aware of small pin-prick looking marks appearing in groups on my arms and feet. Unfortunately they swelled up until it became apparent that I was dealing with a severe case of bedbugs. Ugh. After much exclamation and my protestations that simply changing the sheets on my bed would not solve the problem, I was given a new room.

Next door.

That night I was quite simply eaten alive.

These are my feet following treatment- the rest of me was a little gross, but you get the picture!

Upon frightening the children at class the next day with the state of my arms and face I was taken to hospital by two of my lovely co-teachers.

About Chinese hospitals: they are HUGE. The one I was taken to was a university training hospital, but there was another around the corner from the office that was the speciality eye hospital for the entire province. Essentially, on the walk to work, it appeared that everyone on the street was auditioning for a place on Bluebeards next piratical venture. Eyepatches all round. But I digress, back to MY hospital. In order to be seen by a doctor you need to first purchase a ticket (like at a deli), by filling in all kinds of forms on Chinese and having your blood pressure taken. Thank the lord for my two lovely escorts. It was a little weird to be taking pictures inside a hospital, but I must share with you the nurses uniforms.

Pictured: Forgive me, I found this one on the internet. However, look at her hat! Seriously old school, and gave them a delightful air of authority.

Upon having my blood pressure and heart rate recorded in my medical file (that’s right- I now have a medical  file in Chinese) I was led up a maze of austere stairs and corridors, past patients with beds in the hallway (it is cheaper not to have a room!) and finally to a small, tucked away office. The three Chinese doctors on the inside were wonderfully friendly and professional- we did have to google-translate the word 'anti-histamine' but the message got through in the end!

Onward again through the maze to pay for my medicine, and then off again to find it! Medicine is distributed from a small window much like at a bank and there is a surprisingly large amount of it!

Pictured: not bad for £4.10!

The last adventure before we left was finding the lady with the needle to give me my anti-bed bug itch shot (poorly translated, but you understand). I was a little perturbed when I sat on the bed behind the screen and the nurse (complete with hat) began patting my hip. I scootched along the bed, but the shaking of her head revealed that we were having a lost in translation moment. It was only when she mimed standing up and pulling trousers down did I realise I was in for a treat. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the best place for a three inch needle is your derrière. Deep and abiding joy.

In the end the whole situation ended up being a bit of a giggle as my co-workers were lending me support from the other side of the curtain. When I exited I gave the next customer (a 16 year old young man) the thumbs up and a 'Don't worry, its not to bad!', he flashed me a winning smile and reassured me 'Thanks, I'll be okay'. Cross cultural commiseration at its best :)

Summation of events: allergic reaction to 100+ bed bug bites, free tour of a chinese hospital complete with realistic injection experience, large amount of drugs and a pat on the head. All in one night. A lucky girl indeed.

Extraction!

Following strict instruction that I was not to return to my place of work, I packed all of my belongings into vacuum sealed bin liners and fled the scene of the crime. Checking into a hotel in the city centre I scouted out a dry cleaners and with the help of the world-wide-web of friends and family, managed to get the translation for 'Please oh please dry everything until the buggers are dead' (thanks Model- you're a star!).

Pictured: Utterly everything de-loused

A day later the good Sophie joined me at my place of refuge and repeated the process.

Pictured: Seriously, we are experts at this now.

We anxiously awaited news of our fate for a couple of days…..

Pictured: So very anxious, can't you see the worry lines on my face?

Pictured: We went to the Zoo, people took pictures of us instead of the animals. ( I do wonder why)

Until the news finally came: we were heading down to Xiaolan to join some fellow interns working for a local language school! Apartment etc. would be included. We were literally over the moon!

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BUT! The drama wasn't over yet! At 10pm on our final night, whilst finishing packing I received a phone call from the office manager to ask whether or not I was feeling well enough to teach the next morning! Clearly there were some lines of communication missing as the education company we were working for had forgotten to mention to the teachers that I would not, in fact, be available to teach six middle school classes the next day. Oops.

Half an hour later (10:30pm)  the CEO of the company and the head of the language department turned up outside our hotel to apologise for our treatment!

They brought us each a box of these:

Pictured: Well, if you insist!

And proceeded to try and convince us to stay! As we backed away towards the elevators, assurances of guest beds at the CEO's own home and private doctors flew thick and fast. We escaped with the knowledge that we now completely understood the chinese concept of 'loosing face', and that we were still, very assuredly, leaving the next morning.

The adventure continues ……

WHAT a week! (Part 1)

So

The short version:

After two weeks of 'grin and bear it' from the good Sophie and myself, we have been  extracted from our school placement. The straw that broke the camel's back was the fact that I had to go to hospital to be treated for a severe reaction to a perturbing large amount of bed bug bites. Quite frankly, I think they will need to join weightwatchers after the feast they must have had. Ugggghh. Gross. We are now checked into a hotel and awaiting news of our new placement!

The long version:

Hi there folks, its been a while! There is a lot to tell y'all so I'll break it down:

Teaching

Teaching is fun. Generally. Our job here is to teach oral English, and quite frankly when there are a group of children sitting in your class who are used to memorisation and repetition being the norm of their education, a game filled English class is a welcome break. My job here (for a week at least) was to teach at a weekend school where the children had been sent by their parents to ensure that they were truly succeeding in mastering the English language. These classes were fun. Mostly. The students got a kick out of an actually English English teacher running their class, but the glow was tarnished slightly by the fact that were still in school on a Sunday. The highlight of my few classes probably being showing a child a flashcard for 'Gangam Style' during charades when clearly they were expecting a variation on 'put  on my shoes'. For those of you reading who are unsure of what Gangam Style is- I have provided a link below. I apologise in advance.

All this being said, I taught Grade 7 at a local Middle School for one day and it was possibly the most fun I have had since arriving in this country. In few of the classes that I walked into, the students stopped what they were doing and just stared open mouthed and (delightfully) in most cases, scrambled into their seats in eagerness to find out just who on earth I was and where on earth I came from! I introduced myself in most cases by simply pulling a huge Union flag from my backpack!

Pictured: Claiming the Great Wall for the Queen with said flag

And followed it up with a short intro about England. Was expecting most of the answers I got (Harry Potter! Big Ben! David Beckham - expected as his face is bizarrely on all of their toothbrushes), but the kid that called out 'Agatha Christie! The Deeee-tec-tive writer!' threw me slightly. They gaped (again) at my short clip from the Olympics (Mr Bond and her Majesty at their finest).

Shortly after my first class a gaggle (or rather a 'giggle') of girls came running up to me to ask in hushed tones 'Lao shi, how tall are you?'. Following a metric-imperial stalemate they rushed off to convert '5 foot 11' into something they could understand. After clearly being stumped by my mumbled 'uuumm, I think one inch is 2.5cm?' they accosted me again at lunchtime with a tape measure! I can now confirm that I am, in fact, 180cm tall. Their request for pictures of my siblings (all four of you giants) will sadly never come to fruition, but I was buoyed by their enthusiasm. :)

Visiting Friends in Xiaolan

So! Following the first week of being thrown into teaching (e.g. Thursday afternoon: 'Oh, glad you came in today, here is your schedule for this weekend and a stack of books- you are teaching nine classes each '!), we decided to take a breather and head down to the high-speed railway to escape to the country! Rocked up to the train station

Pictured: slightly mind bending reflective floor and ceiling combination

Where it appeared that everyone and their mother was trying to get home after a weekend in the city. Eventually got on a train after a fair amount of gesturing ('No, the cheapest *points downwards* seat?') to speed away and spend a DEeeelightful evening and day away.

Pictured: My state of morning repose. My recumbent position had nothing to do with the fragility with which I met daybreak.

 PART 2: To be posted soon!

Our house, in the middle of the ..... middle school!

Little video tour of our accommodation- more pictures of our area and schools soon to come!

A Short Description of Nearly Everything

So as this week has been a whirlwind of public transport, confused schedules, miscommunication and frantic lesson planning, I have not had the time to write to y'all. Therefore I am gifting you photos in the place of words!

The boardwalk along the Delta river. This is about 5 minutes away from where we live- and is our route of choice for scouting for food. Food is usually located in a small noodle restaurant run by a benevolent  couple of chinese men and their noodle making young padwan.

The lovely Sophie, fellow intern and all around gem.

Essentially our kitchen. With menus the way we like them: WITH PICTURES

You genuinely would not believe how delicious this tastes. I am so sorry to all of you who do not eat green. You are missing out. You know who you are......

Unexpected, yet delightful: coffee art at the local McDonalds- dedication to the job! Although it may be that she had the time seeing as almost no-one in the entire restaurant bought anything- they just sat down and stole the wi-fi. Disgraceful, don't know who would do such a thing!.....

The temperature in my room when I arrived. Please, someone bring me anything but a pair of jeans, I am sweltering!

10:30pm - kids still working in the classrooms!

Don't mind me, casually taking a stroll on the rooftop path.

Ones' school is clearly not complete without a Koi fish pond....

....or two.

Our school entrance. Clearly not considering how hard it would be to jump the fence and beat the 11pm curfew.

Apparently the people around here are the sort with private yachts.

On the other hand, this is more within my means.

Pictured: a rare quiet metro ride. Am now a pro at finding the perfect Kathryn shaped space in between the man in a tailored suit and the woman carrying a string bag of sweet potatoes.

I wasn't lying when I said it looked like Disneyland was around the corner. Cinderella lives in the one on the left.

I wanted to take a picture of this lunch to show you because it was so delicious. But I ate it too fast. Sorry. Chopsticks were moving so fast that I could have probably caught a fly in the air a la The Karate Kid.

I found cake....that is all

We went shopping to try and find some cooler clothes-  turns out that most of them don't fit me (big surprise there- shopkeepers seem to be under the impression everyone is the same size). But ANYWAY, we went wondering down a couple side streets and found ourselves right in the middle of a quiet neighbourhood. Crazy when we had literally just been standing on a noisy street with everyone and their mother yelling 'Hello! Look at me!' in our general direction.

Delightful. Can we live here?

Public exercise machines for old people. Love it.

The site of many failed endeavours: trying to get some shoes that fit! Not even the men's styles went that high!

Am shattered- last day of lessons for the weekend is tomorrow, so will be heading down to visit our friends in Xiolan for a little R&R!

Love to all.